Gea: Oh my God, a fight has just started! – Ted: No. It’s called moshing. It’s a kind of dance. People slam into each other, but without intention to harm. – Gea: Seems incredible that someone can get out of there unhurt. – Emo: Yo, Ted. What are you doing here? Isn’t it a bit risky for people of your age? – Ted: Of course, sometimes an accident may happen.
Pam: Hi Ted! Hey, let me take a look at you! You’re very elegant. – Ted: Thank you Pam, it’s kind of you. – Pam: Right, but please keep at distance. – Ted: Why? – Pam: I don’t want your cigarette pants getting too close to my baloon skirt.
iStuff: Good news: apparently the modern mating ritual of humans can be summed up in 4 phases. – iStuff: Phase 1: the male courts insistently the most hostile female in the pack. Phase 2: The female, exhausted, reluctantly allows herself. – iStuff: Phase 3: The male says he feels suffocated and flees. Phase 4: The female, now that the male doesn’t want her, falls deeply in love with him. – iStuff: Just a couple of centuries and the planet will be uninhabited and ready for colonisation.
Bob: I’m bored, I need a talking point. – Bob: Tell me, how old are the newly-weds? – Ted: 53 and 65. – Bob: So, what’s your opinion on premarital sex?
Q: Dear Lady Grace, I feel depressed. Something is missing in my life. My colleagues think that I’m a selfish, coldhearted social climber. Even my friends started to avoid me. Sometimes my life seems so empty. Maybe I should get married, have children… Desolate75 – A: I can’t see how making another person unhappy will make your life better.
Bob: You’re disgusting. Getting drunk can’t be planned! Drinking has to do with poetry! – Bob: Hemingway would have is heart broken if he could see you. – Girl1: And now who’s this Hemingway supposed to be? – Girl2: Someone who invented a cocktail… I think.
Girl1: This is the fourth round. How many calories will they be? Take the calculator! – Bob: Bah! Keep a fast to be able to drink more. You are fools. – Bob: Everybody knows is better to drink alcohol on a full stomach. – Girl2: Is this the reason why you filled it with a watermelon?
Girl1: Finally! I’ve spent the whole week eating just salad and carrot juice to be ready for this evening. – Girl2: Go with the first round of margaritas! – Bob: What’s happening? – Ted: It’s a new “fashion” called drunkorexia. Cocktails are caloric and girls keep a fast during the week, to be able to drink and keep their shape. – Bob: What kind of society is this in which we live, where even getting drunk has lost all his poetry?
TV: Good evening, today on “Voyager: the phoney science” we will talk about the obscure appointment of humankind with the year 2012. – TV: Why so many ancient sources and cultures point to this as the date for the end of the world? – TV: What will wipe away mankind from the planet? A pandemic? An impact with a comet? – TV: A geomagnetic storm? A new book by Al Gore?
Bob: As far as you know, is the God of Bible an hearing impaired?
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