Sid: Sometimes I regret not having a strong faith: I’ll have something to appeal when Molly calls.

Sid: Excuse me lady, I think that the rear engine is making a strange sound. – Stewardess: That’s impossible. This aircraft has no rea… – Sid: WHAT? THE AIRPLANE HAS LOST IT’S REAR ENGINE? – Stewardess: Huh? – Passengers: OH MY GOD! WE ARE DOOMED! – Sid: I REPENT MY SINS! – Girl: I DON’T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN! – Sid: 20 bucks, please.

Bob: How boring… how tedious. – Sid: Stop it! – Bob: Come on! Please, do something. – Sid: It will cost you 20 bucks. – Bob: What? You want money? – Sid: Do you prefer owning me a favour and take the risk of taking Molly out for dinner? – Bob: I take the wallet.

Bob: How boring! – Bob: I know what you are thinking. We were lovers in another life. – Girl: Pardon? – Bob: Sure. It was 1871, Chicago was burning for days. Remember escaping the flames? Our sweaty bodies covered with soot, your lips on mine… – Girl: Stewardess! Can I have another seat? – Bob: Wait, it’s not over. We were able to survive…

Ted: Four more hours without smoking. I can’t resist! I can’t resist! – Bob: Ted, control yourself. You look like a junkie on withdrawal. – Bob: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

Bob: Excuse me lady, how long does it take to landing? This waiting is boring me. – Stewardess: Just some minutes of patience, there’s a lot of traffic over the airport. – Bob: Ok, but could you ask the pilot to perform some acrobatic figures? Just to kill some time. – Bob: A barrel roll maybe? – Bob: Or just a bit of zig-zagging!

Evangelist: Jesus Christ blesses you. – Bob: Same for me.

Meg: Consider that when I was with him, Michael made sex three times a day. – Bob: Your ex made sex three times a day? – Meg: Yes. – Bob: With whom?

Gea: Oh my God, a fight has just started! – Ted: No. It’s called moshing. It’s a kind of dance. People slam into each other, but without intention to harm. – Gea: Seems incredible that someone can get out of there unhurt. – Emo: Yo, Ted. What are you doing here? Isn’t it a bit risky for people of your age? – Ted: Of course, sometimes an accident may happen.

Pam: Hi Ted! Hey, let me take a look at you! You’re very elegant. – Ted: Thank you Pam, it’s kind of you. – Pam: Right, but please keep at distance. – Ted: Why? – Pam: I don’t want your cigarette pants getting too close to my baloon skirt.