Gea: Is Bob still in the toilet? – Ted: Don’t know. I distract myself and haven’t checked the door. – Speaker: A man got lost and is waiting at the information desk. He has a red t-shirt and an immoderate ego.
Ted: Sure you’re able to come back? – Bob: It’ about time to stop with this stupid legend that I have no sense of direction and keep on getting lost. – Ted: Sorry, you’re right. – Bob: Where did you say is it?
Ted: Is everything OK Bob? – Bob: I can’t find the restroom. – Ted: It is exactly 50 meters behind your back, hidden by that gigantic deceiving sign with two stylised human figures and the word Toilet.
Meg: OK don’t panic, he just called me. Be calm. He just called me, nothing serious.. what should I do now? Call him back right now? No, would be pathetic, maybe I wait five minutes… – Bob: Who called her? – Ted: Meg’s new flame. – Bob: Good, so they’re going out? – Ted: Don’t know, he asked for advice on income tax declaration.
Workmate: Still working on the laptop of the boss’s daughter?
Ted: I’ve almost finished, but I will make sure he won’t ever ask me for favours. – Boss: So? Have you fixed the problem with my daughter’s laptop? – Ted: Sure. Now everything works. I had to clean up some viruses taken via a software used to access an erotic chat service. – Boss: But my daughter is only eleven! – Ted: I think it’s time to talk wit her about birth control methods.
Bob: The doctor says I’m hypochondriac. – Bob: This is the prescription. – Ticket: “Have sex three times a day, away from meals.” – Sid: He means in the living room?
GPS: Proceed straight for 45 centimetres. – GPS: Proceed backward for 30 centimetres. – Meg: Stop it! You’re making me nervous. – GPS: Do you want me to ask if someone can help you?
Bob: A faucet-woman? – Sid: Don’t look at the appearance. Catch the feeling… it’s intense, dreamy, hydraulically wild. – Bob: A faucet-woman?
Bob: So in the end you got engaged? – Sally : I don’t know, it came out that he is married. – Bob: Then you’re not engaged. – Sally : Well, you can’t see things as black and white.
Bob: Are you telling me that you keep an excel file with a comparative ranking of all the men you have been with in your life? – Meg: Exactly. General impression, foreplay, ambiance… – Bob: And what about my score? I can’t see my name in the diagram. – Ted: I think you’re that spot down there, out of scale.
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